Dating after three months

29 Jul

I have been dating a really wonderful man for three months now, and at this point, we are spending our weekends together every week.

We have an amazing, intense connection which we both acknowledge and at this point, I’m downright crazy about him, and I know he feels the same about me.

The rule is: if one person wants a relationship and the other hasn’t decided what they want, there should be a time limit on how long you should be tied up in the dating zone.

Because I know women and men are different when it comes to…well just about everything, I asked three guys how long it usually takes for them to decide if they want a commitment. They all agreed that if they are consistently (keyword: consistently), dating someone for about six to eight months, that next step should be coming soon. Every situation is different, but I’ve never dated someone consistently for a year and it ended in a relationship.

To me, this time spent meant that either we had gotten comfortable just dating and were subconsciously tied to just that, or simply put, maybe he just wasn’t into me.

Whatever the reason, one thing was clear: we were not going to be together.

If I am spending a lot of time around a man and we are ‘playing couple’ without a commitment, I’ve decided that after six months, playtime is over.

This is usually because one of us wants more than what the other is willing to give.

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The problem for me is this: in the past, he has fallen head over heels in love and gotten deep into relationships very quickly.

He is using this as a basis for keeping me at arm’s length emotionally, and while I understand what he is attempting to do, it is becoming increasingly frustrating for me.

Our typical m.o., week after week, is that we have a wonderful, close, electric weekend together, and then nothing for most of the week.

Others ascertain that you can't put a timeline on healing a broken heart (also a great excuse for eating your face off and crying into a bucket of KFC well past the one-year mark).

And if you're Taylor Swift, you're pretty much screwed.