All my friends are dating

01 Jul

Everyone around me started kissing, while I was left there awkwardly clutching my champagne until they unlocked lips. The comments got me thinking: If there are so many single women out there with so many of the same fears and vulnerabilities, why aren’t we all getting drunk together and spilling our guts to one another? The friend group I spend the majority of my time with lately is composed mainly of couples. But then, an unwelcome thought bubbled up: I've chosen to be the only single person in my group because it’s safe.

Why are we in a never-ending, vicious cycle of feeling alienated and alone because everyone around us is coupled up? In fact, up until a few months ago, I was the only single person in a sea of twosomes. I made a friend who soon found herself a boyfriend with whom I also got along, and through him I was introduced to the rest of the group. When I’m out with couples, I don’t actively seek out single men to talk to, and single dudes don’t actively hit on me.

When the group started, we were seven women who craved cheap wine more than Jhumpa Lahiri's . I returned to book club thinking about the upside of watching my friends dive in first, toe the squishy bottom, invent swimming. Full of apologies, I arrived with a bottle of wine as my olive branch. (Since I never announced my departure, I suppose I hadn't.) And within five minutes, we were back to color schemes and location fees. One hour of tulle-draped conversation later, in a well-intentioned attempt to include me, a fiancée turned and said, "What do you want your ring to look like? It was antique white with a draped neckline and ruched skirt. ) The only problem was that her sister, mom, and eight bridesmaids lived out of town. I could go with you." When I finally looked up, she was smiling so wide I had to grin back.

We drained our glasses and edited each other's problems.

"Fantastic, I'd have never joined up to online dating if it wasn't for a friend of mine who set me up on your site. I've never been a fan of writing about myself or trying to 'big' myself up...... " "I met a total hunk on MSF, very true to his profile and one of the most gentlemanly men I have ever met!

Forget chancing meeting a nice guy on a night out, life is too short to play a waiting game! " There's no cringey profile writing, because we believe that your friends know you best - so they write your profile for you!

Just like having a virtual wingman by your side, it takes the hassle and stigma out of dating and paints a better picture of you as a person.

C., I stayed overnight with one of my closest friends and her boyfriend.

On a rational level, I knew I had a life many women my age would kill for: a job that I loved, an apartment in New York City, a ton of loyal girlfriends. And although that hadn’t ever bothered me before, a human tendency to compare myself to similar people — friends, family, coworkers ­— meant that it bothered me now.

A single woman reflects on how her life has changed now that all her friends are married. The text was just an excuse to air our grievances: My mom and I are fighting; my boss hates me and I hate her; the new dog is too big for the old apartment; I ran into my ex; you'll never believe what happened last night. And just like that, I joined Marriage Club.*Name has been changed.

There were dozens of women who claimed to feel alienated because their girlfriends were either in relationships or married. I have pretty much always been the token single girl among my friends.

I entertain my coupled pals with tales of my Tinder dates, freely flirt with bartenders to get faster drinks for the group, and confidently show up to parties solo all the time. But there are moments when it totally sucks: Like this past New Year’s eve, when I was at a party with all the twosomes and the clock struck midnight.